[George Bush dons a poncho as a way of showing understanding of latin culture without actually having to learn anything about latin culture]
1) Feels like you're wearing a blanket without actually wearing a blanket. Great for when you don't want to get out of bed but also don't want to look like a crazy homeless person.
2) Can be used as a buffer between butt and grass while you drink your 40 in Dolores Park.
3) May help white people feel like they're embracing "the multicultural element" without having to actually connect with the multicultural element.
4) Can be used as a table cloth or wearable napkin.
5) Moms & cats love 'em.
6) Hides your arms and torso from a potentially judgmental and superficial world.
7) Is like a rug for your body.
8) Resembles a cape, instilling a feeling of virtuousness and desire to fight crime.
9) Good for hiding things, like stolen goods, booze, drugs, or pregnancy.
10) Is super secretive, making onlookers wonder "hey, what's going on under that poncho?"
Feel free to add your own in the comments.
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